Shaken Baby Syndrome

Cancerous Chin Scrotum

Racism isn't funny, and neither is AIDS

Mac: you ever catch a whiff of jungle fever?
Me : just making out
Mac: hmmm
Mac: so you won't go all the way
Mac: kind of racist
Mac: but, can't blame you for not wanting aids.  i've done a black chick
Mac: she is a lawyer now, went to USC undergrad and Michigan Law
Mac: She was from Orange county
Mac: which pretty much means she was whiter than i am
Me: she also probably had less aides than you, too
Mac: not after
Me: bringing her back to her roots, I like it!

I'm Gonna Beat You With My Tea-Bags

(3:26:32 PM) J: baby makin music http://grooveshark.com/s/Berimbau+First+Cry/2wAUl9?src=5
(3:29:09 PM) Erika: this sucks
(3:29:22 PM) J: it takes you back to your african roots
(3:29:37 PM) J: nice n tribal
(3:30:15 PM) Erika: ....
(3:30:24 PM) J: loincloth beats
(3:30:47 PM) J: just you n the jungle
(3:31:32 PM) Erika: I'll beat yer loincloth
(3:31:40 PM) J: oh my
(3:32:24 PM) Erika: I'll beat it with my african red bush
(3:32:52 PM) J: uhh
(3:34:37 PM) Erika: http://www.amazon.com/Tazo-African-Red-Bush-Bags/dp/B0000DBN1G
(3:34:43 PM) Erika: I'm gonna beat you with my tea-bags

It Ain't Payday if it Ain't Nuts in Your Mouth

(2:44:43 PM) Erika: http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/epic-fail-photos-payday-slogan-fail.jpg
(2:45:11 PM) d: you going to buy that and put it on your car as a bumper sticker?
(2:45:35 PM) Erika: I was thinking tattoo
(2:45:42 PM) d: hmm where?
(2:46:07 PM) Erika: guess
(2:46:18 PM) d: chin?
(2:46:28 PM) d: back of your head?
(2:46:40 PM) d: (was that too far?)
(2:46:46 PM) Erika: no, my nutsac...obvi
(2:47:05 PM) d: duh
(2:47:07 PM) d: my bad
(2:47:14 PM) d: that wouldnt be painful at all
(2:47:31 PM) Erika: MY NUTS ARE MADE OF STEEEEEEEEL
(2:47:42 PM) d: hmmmmmmmmmm
(2:48:20 PM) Erika: are you contemplating my nuts right now?
(2:48:30 PM) d: a little

Corrosive Battery Terminals

(1:19:02 PM) Jon: im gonna scrub her battery terminals
(1:19:10 PM) Jon: if you know what i mean
(1:19:19 PM) Erika: oh
(1:19:50 PM) Jon: ...meaning that i will be using baking soda and an old toothbrush to remove battery corrosion
(1:20:33 PM) Erika: exactly
(1:20:49 PM) Erika: how come you don't remove my battery corrosion...?
(1:20:57 PM) Jon: id be happy to
(1:21:06 PM) Jon: are your terminals old and corroded?
(1:21:14 PM) Erika: probably
(1:21:41 PM) Jon: once they are clean, you can use vasoline to prevent future corrosion
(1:21:49 PM) Erika: good to know
1:21:59 PM) Erika: cuz i've historically just used spit
(1:22:15 PM) Jon: which means that i have to go to the grocery store after work and buy wine and vasoline
(1:22:37 PM) Erika: sounds like a typical Monday night for you
(1:22:42 PM) Jon: hehe yeah